Monday, January 30, 2012

The Big Mistake- Babies 21 and 22

A quick note: I would advise you not to read this if you are under the age of 14. It contains some uh, adult situations and mild language. You have been warned. >:)

"You whore," She screamed at me as she gave me the worst bitch slap I ever experienced.
Yes, I am a whore, I thought. I'm a dirty, rotten whore and I deserve to get bitch slapped and I also deserve the amount of guilt I'm feeling now.
It would probably be a good idea to explain what led to this point. You see, it all started about a  week ago...

The triplets are of course very hard to take care of. I'd have to say that the quadruplets were probably easier, but only because I had two other people to help me. Now I was all on my own. I hate to say it, but Diego doesn't help at all. He just sleeps all day and when I try to get him to help he throws a fit. 

I did manage to age them all up though, Ewart got his dad's eye shape, nose, and hair color and then my mouth. He's one of those toddlers who just loves dinosaurs. I could give him a dinosaur coloring book and he would be amused for hours. 

Damian has my nose and lips. Most of the other things are from his father. Except for his hair, somehow he's blonde, which is pretty awesome. He's the first kid in my challenge with blonde hair.

Zuri has the most adorable purple curls I've ever seen. I always tried to pull them away from her face, but she refuses to let me even touch her hair, so I gave up. I don't really see any resemblance between her and her father. 

 This is the guy I had in mind for a challenge father, the only thing is, he lives in France, so I would have had to wait for him to book plane tickets and all that jazz. Maybe he would be here after baby 21. 

Of course even though I can put some things on hold because of the triplets, I have to still go see Weston once a week. So, I ended up here. 

 Weston: You're a vampire.
Me: Yeah, I am. 
Weston: And Tom isn't here.
Me: No, he isn't. 
Weston: What the hell happened?
Me: Tom and I broke up and then I turned into a vampire.
Weston: Why did you get turned into a vampire?
Me: Because a challenge father was using mind control on me and made me do it. 
Weston: Laura, I think I know your problem. 
Me: What?
Weston: You don't know how to say no to anyone. Would you even be here if Tom didn't make you go? 
Me: No...
Weston: You see, if some guy wants you to do something for him you need to stand up, kick that guy in the balls and say, "No you little jerk. I ain't your slave."
Me: It's easier said than done. 
Weston: That may be, but it's an important skill to have. You know what. We're doing something new today. We're acting out a scenario and I hate to say this, but you're not leaving until you say no and kick me so hard that I'll be peeing blood for a week.
Me: Alright...
Weston: You could've been gone right there, you could've gotten up, screamed no at me, and then hit me where the sun don't shine. You, my friend, are going to be here for a while.

 Me: Wait, you WANT me to kick you there? Wouldn't most men beg a woman not to?
Weston: If that's what it takes, then yes. Go right ahead. It's a basic self defense skill to be able to kick a man there.
Me: I would feel so bad though.
Weston: Look, if some guy was coming at you with a knife, would you let him stab you or kick him in the nuts?
Me: Well, that depends. Would that distract him?
Weston: Oh, I can assure you that it would.
Me: Alright, then yes, I probably would.
Weston: And then?
Me: Well I would call the cops while hauling ass out of there. Because quite frankly, I don't want to get stabbed. 
Weston: Good, because it would be useless to even kick him if you were just going to stand there.
Me: Well, yeah, that's common sense.

 We both got up and Weston took his shirt off. Whoa. He has nice abs. I was so focused on trying not to drool that I totally didn't hear what he said to me. "I'm sorry, what?" I asked, feeling completely stupid.
"Alright," He said. "Let's say that I'm some sort of crazed man who wants you in bed. You've never met me in your life, what are you going to do?"
"Tell you to leave me alone."
 "That's it?" He asked. "Really? You wouldn't slap him or anything.... You'd just tell him to leave you alone."
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"Well, you of all people would know that if you tell someone to leave you alone, they just keep coming back."
"Well, yeah, but..."
"No buts."
I sighed.
"Alright," He said while wrapping his arms around me. "Well suppose he did this, then what would you do?"
"Well, if he was as sexy as you I wouldn't really mind," I said without thinking. In all honesty I really wouldn't. I mean, have you seen this man? He's gorgeous.
He chuckled, "Oh really?" He whispered seductively in my ear.
I blushed. This wasn't really happening, right? I must be dreaming. 

He leaned in closer to me. "May I?" He asked.
I hesitated. I was in my psychologist's office. Yes, I know that I've done a LOT worse in other places (Like the movie theater, for example), but something just seems wrong about even kissing any kind of doctor. Hm, at least it isn't a gynecologist, heck, maybe a psychologist isn't that bad. "Sure," I said feeling a little bit breathless. "Knock yourself out."
He chuckled, "Well if I knocked my self out, then I wouldn't be able to do this," He said as he leaned in and kissed me.
At first I would say that it was an innocent little kiss, nothing special, you know?
But then things got a little more steamy. He held me tighter and the kiss went from an  innocent little thing to a full blown make-out session. Damn. When did I become so scandalous? Before this challenge started I would have never dreamed of making out with my sexy male psychologist, but now I'm doing it with ease. And I must say, he is a wonderful kisser.

Our little make-out session ended when he reached for the zipper of my dress. "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just..."
"No," He said. "It's okay, I understand."
He stared at me with those gorgeous blue eyes of his. I sighed, he was too strikingly attractive. And this whole situation seemed so wrong. A, if he's that attractive why would he want lil' ol me? And B, I'm in a professional office, that's just wrong on so many levels.
But then again, if a man is seducing me who am I to decline?
Eh, I thought. What could one little fling possibly do? What could possibly go wrong? I have a feeling that those will be my famous last words, but whatever. No use in stopping now.

It didn't occur to me that I just Woohoo'd with my psychologist until after I actually did it.
All though it was quite an enjoyable experience, I felt very, very dirty. But I suppose that was only to be expected.
Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a very loud bang on the door. "One minute," Weston yelled as we both sprang up and started putting on our clothes.

I began to feel extremely happy that I wore a dress because it was so easy to put on. Weston however, was having a harder time. "Put your shirt on," I said in a hurried whisper.
He picked it up, put it on, and then we both had to worry about buttoning it. 

Just as Weston got the last button the door flew open. "Weston," The annoying secretary said. "There's some guy having a conversation with himself right now and he's annoying me. Hurry up with this chick."
"We were actually just wrapping things up, so if you could wait for a minute that would be great," Weston replied.
She let out an irritated sigh and left.
"Sorry about her. I'm trying to find another secretary, but I'm not having much luck. Want a job?"
"Want 5 screaming children?"
He chuckled, "Never mind."
"I should go," I said as I started walking away.
"Alright," He said while looking after me. "Will you be coming in next week?"
I stopped and hesitated for a minute. "Sure," I said. 

I got home to a toddler who desperately needed a nap. Stupid, incompetent babysitters. Maybe one day I'll actually find a good babysitter who's good at taking care of kids.  Yeah, probably not, but a girl can dream, right? 

Some sad news, but as I was doing a bit of cleaning I noticed that the wonderful gecko, Geico died. Rest in peace little guy. 

The next day was spent teaching the triplets some of their skills. I don't know if it's because they're vampires or not, but they're really fast learners. 

Half of it was spent vomiting though. I think I must have drank some bad blood or something because I did not feel well at all.

Of course the vomiting resulted in me having to clean the toilet. I have yet to upgrade this one to self cleaning. I need to add that to my ever growing to-do list. 

Speaking of adding stuff to my to-do list, I should probably tell Weston that I'm pregnant. With his baby. I'm surprised about this, yet totally not at the same time. 

The next morning I decided I really needed a bit of girl time, okay maybe a lot of girl time. So I called a good friend of mine and invited her over.
The wonderful Calista Smith was at my door in a few minutes. 

"Hey," I said excitedly as I hugged her.
"Hey," She said. "It's been way too long, missy."
"Oh," I said. "I know."
The last time I had seen this blue-haired beauty was in Bridgeport. 

We both chilled out in my room. "So," She said. "What's going on. You sounded a bit stressed out on the phone."
I laughed, "Don't I always sound stressed in some way?"
"Very true, but still, what's up? I don't think this is because of the break up with Tom, because that happened a while ago, so I'm confused."
"Well," I started. "I woohoo'd with my psychologist..."
"Hm," She said. "Weston?"
"Hm, he lives down the street from me. I thought he was married."
"What?!?" I nearly screamed.
"Yeah... He has a few kids too. A boy and two girls."
"Oh my gosh," I said, feeling extremely guilty. "You're kidding right? Oh, please tell me you're kidding."
"No, I'm not."
I got up and started pacing around the room. "This is not good. At all."
Calista got up and stopped me in my tracks. "Laura, " She said. "Don't get your panties in a bunch."
"What do I do?" I asked, feeling completely panicked.
"I think you should tell her, it isn't fair not to."
"You're right," I said.

Diego surprisingly agreed to watch his siblings and Calista drove me to a cute little house.
"Bye," I said as I was getting out of the car. "Thanks for driving me here."
"No problem, if you need me I'll be two houses away."
I went and rang the doorbell and a nice looking lady came out. "Hello," She said.
She had very dark hair with red highlights and strange orange eyes. I resisted the urge to groan when I saw her. Not only did she look just as Calista described her, but she was even more gorgeous than I imagined.
"Hey there," I said. 

"Are you looking for someone? Maybe you have the wrong address."
"Is Weston here?" I asked. 
"Nope, he's at work." Of course he is.
"And you're his..."
"Wife," She said. "My name is Dana and you are...?"
"Laura Johanson," I said.
"Come on in," She said. "Weston should be getting home soon."
We both sat down on the couch and I thought of how I could break the news to her. "So," She started. "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm doing the 100 baby challenge."
"Oh," She said. "What baby are you on?"
"I'm pregnant with baby 21 now."
"Oh really?"
Yeah, and the father is your husband... I thought. "Yep," was all that came out of my mouth.
"You must meet some pretty strange men then."
"Oh yeah, you could say that."
I sighed. Now would probably be a good time to tell her. I have a feeling this is going to be very similar to ripping off a band aid. "Weston is the father of my next kid..."
Silence. And a very awkward silence at that. 

"What?" She finally asked as she got off the couch, sounding absolutely livid. 
I got off the couch too. "I'm so, so sorry," I said. "I didn't know he was married. If I did I would have---"
"You whore," She screamed at me as she gave me the worst bitch slap I ever experienced.
Yes, I am a whore, I thought. I'm a dirty, rotten whore and I deserve to get bitch slapped and I also deserve the amount of guilt I'm feeling now.

"Actually," She said through gritted teeth. "You're not the whore in this situation."
Wait... Things just got extremely confusing, "What?" I asked.
"You're the third girl this week who's told me Weston is doing this. The 15th this month. Sorry, I still get shocked when I hear about him sleeping with someone else."
"And you're still with him?"
"Divorces are expensive and we don't have very much money as it is. I would have no way to earn money for anything for the kids either."
"I saw you had a garden, you could sell your produce to earn money."
Just then Weston walked in.
I think he was shocked to see two angry women glaring at him.

"Hey there ladies," He said awkwardly. "How are you two doing today?"
I walked up to him. "How am I doing? Well lets see, I'm doing absolutely lovely today. How are you today? Screw any more women at work?"
"What are you talking about?" He asked defensively.
"Oh please, your wife said I'm the third one who's come over here this week. How could you willingly cheat on your wife with your patients?" I asked.
"I--" He desperately tried to explain. "I didn't mean to."
"Oh yeah, you didn't mean to seduce me and every other chick that has to see you. You disgust me," I said as I walked out.
When I got home I got a call from an unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to sound like I wasn't ready to punch somebody in the face.
"Laura it's Wes---"
"I seriously don't even want to listen to you right now," I said.
"I know, but--"
"But what? You knew what you were doing was wrong and yet you still did it," I said. 
I hung up on him before he could say anything else. I didn't want to hear his reasoning or insincere apologies. Right now I'm just a bit ticked off at him.
Just then my phone rang because of yet another unknown number.
"What. Do. You. Want?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Hey Laura, it's Chester, want to go out some time this week?"
"Why?" I asked. "You want to get in my pant too? Wow, you're the second this week. I might as well just have a runway between my legs with big flashing signs saying 'Enter Here' shouldn't I. After all, everybody is acting like there's a runway there lately. You know, I'm really not that skanky. I have limits. And you know what, I'm really not interested--"
This time I was the one being hung up on.  

The next day I was teaching Ewart to talk when I went into labor.

Introducing baby 21, Florence 

And Baby 22, Haley.

I hope you all enjoyed this post!
It wasn't too dirty, but I still wanted to put the warning up there just in case. :3